We are a new messenger company formed to serve clients with specific and demanding needs.

We need skilled information handlers who show promise at using lateral thinking to accomplish unique tasks.Like what?

Looking for a challenging and rewarding technical messenger job in this brutal economy? Register and come to our recruitment and testing in Toronto on the afternoon of Wednesday, September 18.

secret keys (or clicks here): m ap b eginning p revious r andom n ext e nd s kip messenger
Information messenger?

Yeah, don’t you know, in the Nu Nu Economy, networks can’t be trusted with precious company secrets? As a technically skilled messenger, you represent clients who need to exchange information. We establish neutral meeting points for you to work with other messengers to securely exchange the data.

If you register for our on-the-job interviews being held in Toronto at 1:00 PM on Wednesday, September 18, you will be assigned times and meeting points so we can ascertain your suitability for being a messenger with us as long as possible.

(or until anti-business anti-freedom nanny state labour laws force chromatin to take you on as a full employee, just before which time you will be terminated, whichever comes first)

What does it look like?

Here are some of the lengths we’ve gone to and below. (GIFs too much? Freeze them.)

  • Atrio
  • Beeps
  • Curtains
  • Blur
  • Thumbing
  • Sidewalk
Wait, what is this, really.

This is a bike courier-themed interactive puzzle-solving adventure. A game! Scavenger hunt-esque. Participants will encounter each other and collaborate to find directions to exotic locales. The rest of the site is cryptic due to being “in character”, but you can use the form if you have any questions.

For a partial history of previous such adventures, visit the events page.

What skills do I need?

Useful skills include the following:

Can you complete this equation? 3 + 2 = X

Can you raed a stnenece taht is jubmeld?

Can you orient yourself with a map?

Can you finish this statement? The letter two letters before V in the alphabet is…

Can you be on time for appointments?

Do I have to register?

Yes. We will be assigning those who attend the hands-on interview to meeting times and places. We need to know in advance who is coming.

Though we’re calling it an interview, you will be working with real customer data, so if you register you must attend to not leave hanging other messengers who have meetings scheduled with you!

You can back out after having registered, but there will be a deadline for withdrawal of, say, Tuesday, September 17.

This sort of work can be better with one or more partners. If you want to work as a team, let us know after you register.
If you want to bike but don’t have one, let us know on the form after you register, maybe we can find you one.
We are confident people of many abilities can work well with us. Please let us know any accessibility needs you have after you register.
I pay you?! WTF, yo.

Yes, the job market is such that we’re asking you to pay us $5 for your on-the-job interview/training shift. Harsh! Read up more about economic collapse here.

No one with talent will be turned away, though, so if you can’t scrape together the $5 we still need anyone who can carry out these tasks.


About us

Mercury Cuffs is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Chromatin. Back before the ER we invented these! Srsly.